VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Beyond the sin of unconsciousness
VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Beyond the sin of unconsciousness
THE LAST TECHNIQUE YOU DISCUSSED YESTERDAY SAID THAT WHEN A MOOD AGAINST SOMEONE OR FOR SOMEONE ARISES, NOT TO PLACE IT ON THE PERSON IN QUESTION BUT TO REMAIN CENTERED. BUT WHEN WE EXPERIMENT WITH THIS TECHNIQUE ON OUR ANGER, HATRED, ETC., WE FEEL THAT WE ARE SUPPRESSING OUR EMOTION AND IT BECOMES A SUPPRESSED COMPLEX. SO PLEASE CLARIFY HOW TO BE FREE FROM THESE SUPPRESSED COMPLEXES WHILE PRACTISING THE ABOVE TECHNIQUE.
Expression and suppression are two aspects of one coin. They are contradictory, but basically they are not different. In expression and in suppression, in both, the other is the center.
I am angry -- I suppress the anger. I was going to express anger against you; now I suppress the anger against you. But the anger goes on being projected onto you whether expressed or suppressed.
This technique is not for suppression. This technique changes the very base of expression and suppression both. This technique says, do not project it on the other, you are the source. Whether you express it or suppress it, you are the source. The emphasis is neither on expression nor on suppression. The emphasis is on knowing from where this anger arises. You have to move to the center, the source from where anger, hate and love arise. When you suppress you are not moving to the center, you are struggling with the expression.
Anger has arisen in me. Ordinarily, I can do two things: express it onto someone or repress it. But in both the cases I am concerned with the other and I am concerned with the energy of anger that has come to the surface -- not with the source.
This technique is to forget the other completely. Just look at your energy of anger arising and move deep down to find the source within yourself from where it is coming. And the moment you find the source, remain centered in it. Do not do anything with anger -- remember. In expression you are doing something with anger; in suppression also you are doing something with anger. Do not do anything with anger; do not touch it, just use it as a path. Just go deep down into it to know from where this has arisen. And the moment you will find the source, it is very easy to be centered there. Anger has to be used, really, as a path to find the source. Any emotion can be used.
When you suppress you are not going to find the source, you are just struggling with energy that has come up and wants to be expressed. You can suppress it, but it will be expressed sooner or later because you cannot struggle forever with the energy that has come up. It has to be expressed. So you may not express it upon A, but then you will express it upon B or C. Whenever you find someone who is weaker than you, you will express the energy. And unless you express it you will feel burdened, tense, heavy and ill at ease.
So it will be expressed. You cannot suppress it continuously. From somewhere it will leak out, because if it is not going to leak out you will be constantly worried by it. So suppression is really nothing but postponing expression. You will simply postpone.
You are angry at your boss and you cannot express it; it is not economical. You will have to push it down, so you just wait until you can express it upon your wife or upon your child or somewhere -- upon your servant... And the moment you reach your home you will express it. You will find causes, of course, because man is a rationalizing animal. He will rationalize; he will find something -- something very trivial, but now that will become very meaningful because you have something to express.
Suppression is nothing but postponing. You can postpone for months, for years. And those who know say that you can postpone for lives also, but it will have to be expressed. This technique is not concerned at all with suppression or expression -- no! This technique uses your mood, your energy, as a path for you to go deep down within yourself.
Gurdjieff used to create situations in which he would force anger upon you, or hatred, or any other mood, and that was a created phenomenon. You would not be aware of what is going to happen.
Gurdjieff is sitting with his disciples, and as you enter you are not aware of what is going to happen, but they are ready to create anger in you. They will behave in such a way... Someone will say something, and the whole group will behave so insultingly that you will become furious. Suddenly anger will come up; you are aflame. And when Gurdjieff has seen that now a point has come from where you can either go deep down or you can go out, when the peak has come within you and you are just going to explode, then he will say, "Close your eyes. Now be aware of your anger and go back."
Only then would you realize that the situation was a created one. No one was interested in insulting you -- that was just a drama, a psychodrama -- but the anger has arisen. And even if you come to know that it was simply a drama, the energy cannot suddenly go down, it will take time. Now you can move down with the falling energy to the source. This energy will just help you to go down to where it has come from; you can connect now with the original source. And this is one of the most successful methods of meditation.
Create any mood... but there is no need because the whole day moods are there. Use any mood to meditate. Then you have forgotten the other completely, and you are not suppressing anything. You are just moving down with some energy which has come up. Every energy comes from the source, so right now the path is warm and you can use that path to go back. And the moment you reach to the original source, the energy will subside into the original source. It is not suppression: the energy has gone back to the original source. And when you become capable of reuniting your energy with your original source, you have become the master of your body, your mind, your energy. You have become the master. Now you will not dissipate your energy.
Once you can know how the energy falls back with you to the center, there is no need of any suppression and there is no need of any expression. Right now you are not angry. I say something -- you become angry. From where is this energy coming? A moment before you were not angry, but the energy was in you. If this energy can fall back again to the source, you will again be the same as you were a moment before.
Remember this: energy is neither anger nor love nor hate. Energy is simply energy -- neutral. The same energy becomes anger; the same energy becomes sex; the same energy becomes love; the same energy becomes hate. These are all forms of the same energy. You give the form, your mind gives the form, and the energy moves into it.
So remember, if you love deeply you will not have much energy to be angry. If you do not love at all, then you will have much energy to be angry, and you will go on finding situations in which to be angry. If your energy is expressed through sex, you will be less violent. If your energy is not expressed through sex, you will be more violent. That is why militaries will never allow sexual relationships for the soldiers. If it is allowed, the militaries will become absolutely impotent to fight.
That is why, whenever civilization comes to a peak, it cannot fight. So always, more cultured and more civilized societies are overrun and defeated by lesser civilizations -- always, because a more developed society cares about its individuals' every need, and sex is included. So when a society is really established, affluent, everybody's sexual need is fulfilled -- but when the sexual need is fulfilled you cannot fight. You can fight very easily if the sexual need is not fulfilled. So if you want a world of peace, more freedom for sex will be needed. If you want a world of warring, fighting, then deny sex, suppress sex, create anti-sex attitudes.
This is a very paradoxical thing: the so-called saints and sages go on talking about peace, and they go on talking against sex also. They go on creating an anti-sex atmosphere, and at the same time they go on saying that the world needs peace, not war. This is absurd. Hippies are more correct; their slogan is right: "Make love, do not make war." That is right. If you can make love more, really you cannot make war.
That is why the so-called sannyasins who have suppressed sex will always be violent, angry about nothing: just angry, just violent, bubbling, waiting to explode. Their whole energy is unexpressed. Unless the energy falls down to the source, no BRAHMACHARYA, no real celibacy is possible. You can suppress sex -- then it will become violence. If the sex energy moves down to the center, you will be just like a child.
The child has more sex energy than you, but it is still in the source; it has not moved to the body yet. It will move. When the body will be ready and the glands will be ready and the body will be mature, the energy will move. Why does a child look so innocent? The energy is at the source; it has not moved. Again the same thing happens when someone becomes enlightened. The whole energy moves to the source, and the person becomes childlike. That is what Jesus means when he says, "Only those who are like children will be able to enter into my kingdom of God."
What does it mean? Scientifically it means your whole energy has moved back to the source. If you express, it has moved out. And when it is expressed, you are creating a habit for the energy to move out, to leak out. If you suppress, then the energy has not moved to the source and it has not moved out: it is suspended. And a suspended energy is a burden.
That is why, if you really express anger, you feel relief. If you go through sex, you feel relief. If you destroy something, your hate is released and you feel relief. Why is this relief felt? Because suspended energy is burdensome, heavy. Your mind is cloudy with it. You have to throw it out or allow it to move back to the original source; these are the only two things.
If it goes back to the source, it becomes formless. In the source, energy is formless. For example, electricity is formless. When it moves into a fan, it takes one kind of form. When it moves into a bulb, it takes a different form. You can use it in a thousand ways -- the energy is the same. The form is given by the mechanism through which it moves.
Anger is a mechanism, sex is a mechanism, love is a mechanism, hate is a mechanism. When energy moves into the channel of hate, it becomes hate. If the same energy moves into love, it becomes love. And when it moves into the source, it is formless energy -- pure energy. It is neither hate nor love nor anger nor sex, simply energy. Then it is innocent, because formlessness is absolute innocence. That is why Buddha looks so innocent, childlike. The energy has moved to the source.
Do not express, because you are wasting your energy and helping the other also to waste his. Do not suppress, because then you are creating a suspended phenomenon which will have to be released. Then what to do?
This technique says, do not do anything with the mood itself, just go back to the source from where the mood is coming. And while the mood is hot, the path is clear, visible inside; you can move on it. Use moods for meditation. The result is miraculous, unbelievable. And once you find the key that shows you how to pour the energy back to the source, you will have a different quality of personality. Then you will not be dissipating anything, then it will look stupid.
Buddha has said that whenever you are angry against someone, you are punishing yourself for the misdeed of the other. He has insulted you -- that is his deed -- and you are punishing yourself by being angry; you are dissipating your energy. This is stupid. But then, listening to Buddha, Mahavir, Jesus, we start repressing; we start suppressing our energy. Then we think that it is not good, that it is stupid to be angry.
So what to do? Suppress the anger, do not be angry, pull yourself in, close yourself. Fight with your anger and suppress it. But then you will be sitting on something which will explode any moment. You are sitting on a Vesuvius -- any moment it will explode.
You go on collecting. The whole day's anger is collected; the whole month's anger is collected; the whole year's anger, and the anger of your whole life, and then the anger of many lives, is collected. It is there; it can explode at any moment. Then you become very afraid of being alive even, because any moment anything can go in and you will explode. You become afraid, every moment is an inner struggle.
Psychologists say it is better to express than to suppress, but religion cannot say this. Religion says both are stupid. In expression you are harming the other and also yourself. In suppression you are harming yourself, and you will harm someone else someday. Move to the source so that the energy falls back to the source and becomes formless. Then you will feel very powerful without being angry. Then you will feel energy -- vital energy. You will be alive, you will have an intense life without forms. Anyone will be impressed just by your presence. You need not dominate anyone, just your presence and they will feel that some powerful source has come.
Whenever someone goes to a Buddha or to a Krishna, suddenly his energy feels a change of climate because of such a powerful source. The moment you move near, you are magnetized. No one is magnetizing you, no one is trying anything, there is just the presence. You may feel that someone has hypnotized you, but no one is hypnotizing. The presence of a buddha -- whose energy has become formless, whose energy has gone to the source, who is centered at his source -- the very presence is hypnotizing. It becomes charismatic.
Buddha became enlightened. Before his enlightenment he had five disciples. They were ascetics and when Buddha himself was a great ascetic, torturing his body in many, many ways, inventing new and more sadistic techniques to torture himself, those five were his ardent followers. Then Buddha felt that this was wholly, absolutely absurd. Just by torturing one's body one is not going to realize oneself. When he realized this, he left ascetic ways. Those five followers left him immediately. They said, "You have fallen down. You are no more an ascetic." They left him.
When Buddha became enlightened, the first idea that came to his mind was about those five followers. Once they were his followers, so he must go to them. He felt a duty -- he must find them and tell them what he has found. So he searched for them, and he traveled in Bihar, from Bodhgaya to Benares, just to find them. They were at Sarnath. Buddha never came back to Benares again, never came back to Sarnath again, because he came only for those five disciples.
He came to Sarnath. It was evening time, the sun was setting, and those five ascetics were sitting on a hillock. They saw Buddha coming, so they said, "That fallen Gautam Buddha, that Gautam Siddharth who has fallen from the path, is coming. We must not pay any respect to him. We should not pay to him even ordinary respect."
So they closed their eyes. Buddha came nearer and nearer, and those five ascetics began to feel a change -- a change of mind. They became uneasy. When Buddha reached just near, suddenly all the five opened their eyes and fell at the feet of Buddha. Buddha said, "But why are you doing this? You decided not to give any respect to me, so why are you doing this?"
They said, "We are not doing it, it is happening. What have you gained? You have become a magnetic force. We are just being pulled. What are you doing to us? Have you hypnotized us?" Buddha said, "No! I have done nothing to you, but something has happened in me. All the energies have fallen to the source, so wherever I move, suddenly a magnetic force is felt."
That is why those who are against Buddha or Mahavir go on saying for centuries, "That man was not good; he was hypnotizing people." No one is hypnotizing. You become hypnotized -- that is another thing. When your energy falls back to the original source, you become a magnetic center. This technique is to create this magnetic center in you.
The second question:
YESTERDAY YOU SAID THAT THE MEDITATION TECHNIQUE OF UNWINDING THE MIND IS VERY SIGNIFICANT. BUT IN THE WEST HUNDREDS OF FREUDIAN AND JUNGIAN PSYCHOANALYSTS AND PSYCHIATRISTS ARE PRACTICING THIS TECHNIQUE, BUT THEY ARE NOT GETTING VERY SIGNIFICANT RESULTS IN TRYING TO TRANSFORM THE BEING. WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THEIR BEING UNSUCCESSFUL?
There are many things to be noted. One: Western psychology does not yet believe in the being of man, it believes only in the mind. For Western psychology there is nothing beyond the mind yet. If there is nothing beyond the mind, then whatsoever you do is not going to help man really. At the most it can help man to be normal -- at the most!
And what is normal? What is normalcy? Just the average. If the average man himself is not normal, then being normal means nothing. It simply means you are adjusted to the crowd. So Western psychology is doing only one thing: whenever someone is maladjusted, Western methods make that man again adjusted to the crowd. The crowd is not questioned at all; whether the crowd itself is okay is not the question.
For Eastern psychology, the crowd is not the criterion. Remember this distinction: for Eastern psychology the crowd is not the criterion, society is not the criterion. Society itself is ill. Then what is the criterion? For us a buddha is a criterion. Unless you become buddha-like, you are ill.
For Western psychology society is the criterion, because a buddha cannot be a criterion. They do not believe that there is such a thing as the inner being. If there is no such thing as the inner being, then there cannot be any enlightenment. But when the inner being becomes illuminated, then there is enlightenment.
So Western psychology is really just therapeutic, just a part of medicine. It tries, it helps you to be readjusted, but it is not a transcendence. The Eastern effort is for how to transcend the mind, because for us there are no mental diseases, remember. For us there are no mental diseases -- rather, the mind is the disease. For Western psychology the mind is not the disease. The mind is you, it is not the disease. The mind can be healthy, and the mind can be ill.
For us the mind is the disease, the mind can never be healthy. Unless you go beyond mind, you can never be healthy. You can be ill and adjusted or you can be ill and maladjusted, but you can never be healthy. So the normal man is not really healthy. He is just within the boundaries, he is ill within the boundaries. The abnormal person is one who has gone beyond the boundaries; and the difference between the two is only of degrees -- of quantity, not of quality.
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A madman in a madhouse and you -- there is no qualitative difference, only one of degrees. He is a little bit more mad than you; you are within the boundaries. Functionally, you can switch on. He cannot switch on now; he has gone further than you. He has an advanced case, nothing else. You are just on the path and he has reached.
Western psychology tries to bring him back to the fold, to the herd, to the crowd. It makes him normal. It is good; as far as it goes, it is good. But for us, unless a man goes beyond mind he is mad, because for us the mind is madness.
So we are trying to unwind the mind just to know that which is beyond it. They also try unwinding methods just to adjust the mind, but the beyond is not there. And remember this: unless you can go beyond yourself, nothing worthwhile happens. Unless you can reach something which is beyond you, life is meaningless.
Certain other things also... For Freud and the Freudians, man is really a being that cannot be happy. The very being for them is such that man cannot be happy. If you are not unhappy, that is all. Remember, if you are not unhappy, be satisfied -- it is enough. You cannot be happy. Why? Because Freudian psychology says that happiness lies in being instinctual, happiness lies in being like an animal, and that man cannot be. Reason goes on continuously interfering. You can lose your reason and become like an animal; then you can be happy. But then you will not be aware of happiness. This is the paradox for them.
If you fall downward and become like an animal, you will be happy but you will not be aware. If you try to be aware you cannot be happy, because you cannot become like an animal. And reason goes on interfering in everything. Man cannot lose reason and also man cannot live with reason -- that is the problem. So you cannot be happy according to Freud. At the most, if you are wise, you can arrange your life in such a way that you will not be unhappy. This is a very negative thing.
For Eastern psychology or metaphysics or religion, a positive goal exists. You can be happy. Not only happy, you can be blissful. And Eastern psychology says that if you can feel that you are unhappy, that shows your potentiality, the possibility that you can be happy; otherwise you would not be able to feel this being unhappy either.
If a man can see darkness he has eyes, and one who can see darkness can see light. Remember, blind men cannot see darkness. You may have been thinking that blind men live in darkness -- forget it completely. They cannot see darkness, because even to see darkness eyes are needed. If you can feel unhappiness you have eyes, and if you can feel unhappiness you can feel happiness. Really, if you cannot feel happiness, there is no possibility of feeling unhappiness. These are polar opposites.
You are capable of being totally happy, but then the mind cannot be. Take it in this way: if you fall downward and become just a body, you will be happy. Freud also agreed with this. If you fall downward and forget your reason completely, if you become like an animal, just a body, you will be happy but you will not know it. With the mind you can know it, but then you cannot be happy because the mind goes on disturbing. The body can be happy, but the mind goes on disturbing.
There is another possibility which the East has worked out: go beyond. Freud says that if you fall downward and become an animal, you will be happy but you will not know it; if you are in the mind you can know, but you cannot be happy. Eastern search says that if you go beyond mind you will be happy and also aware. That is a third point -- of the beyond.
So these are three points. Man is in the middle; below is the animal existence. Go to a forest and look at the animals. They may not be aware that they are happy, but you will feel that they are happy. Go to the beach in the morning, or go to a garden in the morning and listen to the singing of the birds. They may not know it, but you will feel they are happy. You have never been singing like that. Look deep down into their eyes -- they are so unclouded and innocent. They are happy, but you are not happy.
Fall downward and become a body only -- then you will be happy. Or go beyond and become the spirit or become the being, and you will be happy. But in the middle you will be always tense, because mind is really not the end. It is just a rope stretched between two realities: body and soul.
So you are just on the rope like a NATA, a tightrope walker. A tightrope walker cannot be at ease. Either he must go back or he must go forward, but he must not remain on the rope. He must get down from the rope, and there are two possibilities: he can go backward, or he can go forward and beyond. Mind is a rope, and to live with the mind is tightrope walking. You are bound to be unbalanced, uneasy; every moment there is anxiety, anguish. The mind's life is tension. That is why Western psychology succeeds in making you normal, but fails to make you a self-actualized person.
But there are new trends, and people are thinking, and the East is now penetrating the West very deeply. Really, that is the East's way to conquer. The West conquered the East -- their way was very gross. The East has its own ways of conquering -- very subtle ways, silent ways. Now the East is penetrating the Western mind deeply. Without any violence, without any visible conflict, the East is penetrating the West very deeply. And sooner or later Western psychology will have to evolve concepts about transcending, about how to transcend the mind.
Unwinding can be helpful in both the ways. If you are just trying to create a normal mind, unwinding will be helpful. But then your goal is not transcendence. If your goal is transcendence, then too unwinding can be helpful. All these techniques can be used for ordinary mental peace, and all these techniques can also be used for a real silence which is not of the mind.
There are two types of silence: one of the mind, in which the mind is silent, and another silence when the mind is no more. The silence when the mind is no more, is altogether different from mental peace. In mental peace the mind is there, only not very mad. The madness is slowed down -- that is all.
Western psychology must become a metaphysics, only then can man transcend. It must become a philosophy also, and ultimately it must become religion. Only then can man be helped to transcend.
The third question:
YOU HAVE BEEN EXPLAINING MANY MEDITATION METHODS TO US. HOWEVER, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT NO METHOD CAN BE ALL THAT POWERFUL UNLESS ONE IS INITIATED INTO IT?
A method becomes qualitatively different when you are initiated into it. I am talking about the methods -- you can use them. Once you know the scientific background and the way, the know-how, you can use it, but initiation makes it qualitatively different. If I initiate you into a particular method it will be a different thing, because many things are implied in initiation.
When I talk about a method and I explain it to you, you can use it on your own. The method is explained to you, but whether it will suit you or not, how it will work upon you, what type of person you are, is not discussed. It is not possible.
In initiation, you are more important than the technique. When the master initiates you, he observes you. He finds out what is your type, he finds out how much you have worked through in your past lives, where you are right at this moment, at what center you are functioning right now, and then he decides about the method; he chooses the method. It is an individual approach. The method is not important, you are important, you are being studied and observed and analyzed.
Your past lives, your consciousness, your mind, your body, they are dissected. You are felt deeply in terms of where you are, because the journey begins from that point -- the point where you are just now. Just any method will not do.
Then the master chooses a particular method for you, and if he feels that this particular method has to be changed for you, that minute alterations or some additions are needed, he adds, he deletes, he makes the method fit for you. And then he gives the initiation; then he gives the method to you. That is why it is insisted that whenever you are initiated in a method, you are not to talk about it. It has to be secret because it is individual. If you tell it to someone else it may not be helpful, or it may even be harmful.
It has to be kept secret. Unless you achieve and your master says that now you can initiate others, it should not be talked about at all -- not uttered, not even to your husband or your wife or your friend. No, it is absolutely secret because it is dangerous, it is very powerful. It has been chosen and made for you. It will work for you, but it is not for any other individual in the world. Really, each individual is so unique that he needs a different method, and with a slight difference a method can become suitable for him.
What I am talking about -- these one hundred and twelve methods -- they are generalized methods. They are one hundred and twelve generalized methods, all the methods which have been used. This is a general form so that you become acquainted. You can try -- if something suits you, you can go on. But this is not initiation into a method. Initiation is a personal, individual affair between the master and the disciple. It is a secret transmission. And many other things are implied in initiation. Then the master chooses a right moment when he will give the method to you, so that it goes deep into the unconscious.
While I am talking, your conscious mind is listening. You will forget. When I have talked about one hundred and twelve methods, you will not even be able to rename them again -- the one hundred and twelve. You will forget many completely. You will be able to remember a few, and then you will be mixed up and confused. You will not know what is what.
The master has to choose a right moment when your unconscious is open, and then he gives you the method. Then it goes deep down into the unconscious. So many times initiation is given in sleep, not when you are conscious. Many times initiation is given to you in a deep hypnotic trance, when your conscious mind is completely asleep and your unconscious mind is open.
That is why surrender is so much needed in initiation. Unless you surrender initiation cannot be given, because unless you surrender your conscious mind is always alert and on guard. When you surrender, your conscious mind can then be relieved of its duty and your unconscious mind can come directly in contact with the master.
A right moment has to be chosen, and then you have to be prepared for initiation. It may take months to prepare you. There has to be the right food, the right sleep, and everything has to come to a tranquil point; only then can you be initiated, so initiation is a long process, an individual process. Unless someone is ready to surrender totally, initiation is not possible.
So I am not initiating you into these methods, I am just making you acquainted with these methods. If someone feels that some method suits him deeply and he feels that he should be initiated into that method, I can initiate him into that method. But then it is going to be a long process. Then your individuality has to be completely known. You have to become totally naked so that nothing remains hidden. And then things become very easy -- because when a right method is given to a right person at a right moment, it works immediately.
Sometimes it happens that while initiating the disciple, the disciple becomes enlightened, just the initiation becomes the enlightenment. Then the method becomes alive -- when it is given by a master privately, individually. Whatsoever I am doing now is not initiating, remember this. This is a scientific approach just to revive the one hundred and twelve methods, to make them known.
If someone is interested, he can be initiated. And when you are really interested you will seek initiation, because working alone on the method is a very long affair. It may take years, it may take lives, and you may not be able to sustain it for so long a period. Through initiation it becomes very easy, and then the method becomes a transmission. Then through the method the master starts working in you. Initiation is a living relationship with the master, and a long relationship, of course, goes deep. It changes you and transforms you.
The next question:
YOU QUOTED GEORGE GURDJIEFF AS SAYING THAT IDENTIFICATION IS THE ONLY SIN, BUT IN MANY TECHNIQUES THE PROCESS OF IDENTIFICATION IS USED. THEY SAY, FOR EXAMPLE, BECOME ONE WITH THE BELOVED, BECOME ONE WITH THE ROSEFLOWER, OR BECOME ONE WITH THE MASTER. AND, MOREOVER, EMPATHY IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MEDITATIVE AND SPIRITUAL QUALITY, SO THE ABOVE SAYING OF GURDJIEFF'S SEEMS TO BE PARTIALLY TRUE AND USEFUL ONLY FOR CERTAIN TECHNIQUES.
No! It is not partially true, it is totally true. But you will have to understand. Identification is unconscious, but when you use identification in a meditative technique it is conscious.
For example, your name is Ram. Someone insults "Ram" -- immediately YOU feel insulted because you are identified with the name Ram. But this is not a conscious thing for you, it is unconscious. Your mind doesn't work in this way: "I am called Ram. Of course, I am not Ram, this is only my name, and everyone is born nameless. This name is given, and it is arbitrary. This man is only insulting my arbitrary name, so am I to be angry or not?" You would never reason it out in this way. If you reasoned it out in this way, you would not be angry at all. Suddenly someone insults "Ram" and you are insulted, but this is just an arbitrary name. This identification is unconscious, it is not conscious.
When you are identifying with a rose, it is a conscious effort. You are not identified with the rose. You are TRYING to identify yourself with the rose, and you are trying to forget yourself. You are trying to become one with the rose, and you are deeply conscious, aware of the whole process. YOU are doing it. Even if identification is done consciously, it becomes a meditation. And if you do a certain technique of meditation unconsciously, it is not meditation -- remember.
You go on doing your prayer every morning or every night unconsciously, just as a routine affair. While doing it you are not conscious at all of what you are doing. You are not conscious at all of what words you are saying in prayer. You just repeat them like a parrot. This is not meditation. And if you are taking your bath consciously, it is a meditation. So remember this: whatsoever you are doing consciously, with alertness, fully aware, becomes meditation. Even if you kill someone consciously, while fully conscious, it is meditative.
That is what Krishna was saying to Arjuna: "Do not be afraid. Kill, murder, fully consciously, knowing fully that no one is murdered and no one is killed." Arjuna could very easily kill his enemies unconsciously. He could go mad in a rage and kill -- that is easy. But Krishna is saying, "Be alert, be fully conscious. Just become the instrument of divine hands, and know well that no one is killed, no one can be killed. The inner being is eternal, immortal. So you are only destroying forms, not that which is behind the forms. So destroy the forms." If Arjuna can be so meditatively aware then there is no violence, no one is killed, no sin is committed.
I will tell you one anecdote in Nagarjuna's life. Nagarjuna was one of the great masters India has produced -- of the caliber of Buddha and Mahavir and Krishna. And Nagarjuna was a rare genius. Really, on the intellectual level there is no comparison in the whole world; such a keen and penetrating intellect rarely happens. He was passing through a city, a capital city, and he always remained naked. The queen of that kingdom was a believer, a follower and a lover of Nagarjuna, a devotee. So Nagarjuna came to the palace to ask for food. He had one wooden begging bowl. The queen said, "Give this begging bowl to me. I will cherish it as a gift, and I have another made for you. You can take that."
Nagarjuna said, "Okay!" The other one was golden, and many precious stones were set in it; it was very valuable. Nagarjuna didn't say anything. Ordinarily no sannyasin would take it, he would say, "I cannot touch gold." But Nagarjuna took it. If really gold is just mud, then why make any distinction? He took it. Even the queen didn't feel it to be good. She felt, "Why? He should have said no. Such a great saint! Why has he taken such a valuable thing while he lives naked, without any clothes, without any possessions? Why should he not reject it?"
If Nagarjuna had rejected it, the queen would have insisted, requested, but then she would have felt better. Nagarjuna took it and went away. One thief saw him passing through the city, and the thief thought, "This man cannot keep this begging bowl, someone is bound to steal it or someone is bound to take it away from him. With the nakedness -- how can he protect it?" So he followed... the thief followed Nagarjuna.
Nagarjuna was staying outside the town in an old monastery, alone; the monastery was just in ruins. He went in, he heard the footsteps of the man, but he didn't look behind because he thought, "He must be coming for the begging bowl, not for me, because who would come? No one ever comes following me to these ruins."
He went in. The thief stood behind a wall and waited. Nagarjuna, seeing that he was waiting outside, threw the begging bowl out of the door. The thief couldn't understand: "What type of man is this? Naked, with such a precious thing, and he has thrown it out." So he asked Nagarjuna, "Can I come in, sir? I have to ask a question."
Nagarjuna said, "I have thrown the bowl out just so that you can come in -- to help you to come in, because I am just going to take my afternoon nap. You would have come for the begging bowl, but then there would have been no meeting with me. So come in."
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